I feel like I’m two when it’s just me and them. I love Raine, but it would be a bit much if I was only travelling with her and Kratos. “I’m glad that I have my friends with me on this journey.” Was it okay to wish that she stopped releasing the seals so that she wouldn’t lose anything else? Was it okay to say such things? My hand clutched more tightly around my kendama. It tells us when we can’t go on without damaging ourselves too much. You know, Lloyd complained so much about the heat when we were in Triet, but he would take it really badly if he couldn’t feel it at all when he knows he’s supposed to. “I mean, this has got to be weighing on you. She turned to me, her head slightly tilted. “Colette,” I said one day as we were walking to the Tower of Mana, “are you sure about this?” Yet even that didn’t work, because Colette was suffering. It made me push everything down, trap my heart behind a thousand locks so the thorns couldn’t pierce it any longer. If I could spill all my secrets to them… I thought that would be the best feeling in the world. If I gagged every time they did something remotely romantic-even clueless as the couple was-I would not be able to hang around them. I was a bit older now: I realised that people need to be vulnerable, although that didn’t mean I wanted it advertised everywhere. When I was younger, I wondered why people would act like that around others. It used to make me want to run for the hills. They spoke to each other, hushed-not trying to hide anything, I knew, but with the same intimacy that someone like Lilia had with her husband.
I noticed that they sat closer when we gathered around the campfire. While I let her, and she was content with that, Lloyd would hold her hand. She walked closer to people, and sometimes she would brush her sleeve against my arm or Lloyd’s. She upturned her face to the sun as if to warm her unfeeling skin. But her hand lingered on the rough bark, shed by a hardwood tree nearby. When Colette lost her sense of touch, I noticed that she sought physical contact more. It was only that the way Colette and Lloyd loved each other was different from the way they loved me and I them. Lloyd hated school with a passion-evidenced by his continual napping-but he came for Colette and me.Īll of us cared for each other. They did not particularly enjoy the educational aspects of school, but they knew I did, and they never teased me for it-not as others had. Education was not boring! It was fun and exciting, and there’s so much to learn about Sylvarant! I didn’t think Colette and Lloyd quite understood that.īut even if I was the third wheel, I never felt left out. That ground my gears whenever I thought about it.
Whenever Lloyd had skipped class, it was because he didn’t feel like it. I saw it whenever Colette withdrew a little and stopped coming to school for a few days because she was so busy doing the duty of the Chosen of Mana. Harrowed and pleading for respite.īut, according to Mendel’s laws, peas in the same pod still have a lot of different traits. Instead, I tasted the mana in the breeze, drifting downwind. They flitted about, pointing into the sky to squeal at a hawk as it dove for its dinner, crouching around a freshly germinated sapling, and chattering the day away. I have always known I am the third wheel.
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